oh boy, i actually have to write about this again? The phone calls, the emails, the worry in people’s voices.

No, I’m not resigning my Anusara certification.

I have no reason to. Zero. I totally align with teaching hatha yoga in the Anusara method. And until that changes for me, I’m stayin’. I’ve got the torch, along with so many others.

For those of you in the dark, or ‘living under a rock’ (to quote Amy), Amy Ippoliti, longtime Anusara cover-girl, super-star teacher, yoga visionary, and well, my first teacher of Anusara, has decided to resign her Certification.  As the visionary-super-star-sustainer-of-excellence in being a teacher of yoga, she’s simply moving forward on her own to continue teaching.  I bless her departure as growth, expansion, and evolution. It must happen! And I honor her as my first teacher, the one who inspired me to be the teacher I am today, and then some.

Yet with her departure, along with Darren + Christina, and Elena, I’m totally fascinated by my emotional response. I’m disappointed in these teachers and mentors of mine, who I’ve always looked to for advice on how to work through issues over the past decade. We’ve all been taught to ‘see the good’, and when I’ve been unable to do so, I have turned to mentors such as these great beings, and they’ve guided me toward a humble and open place of reason and Love.

So why couldn’t they? I’m disappointed they couldn’t find a pathway to connection, and instead chose disconnection.  But that’s where I’m alarmed at myself. Like, come on Julie – we’re adults. Sometimes you have to walk away. People break up! I’ve been broken up with, and have broken up with others, romantically and in friendship, because we just couldn’t see eye to eye and confusion and disagreement were the truth of the moment. It happens. Its life. so why am I still so disappointed?

Perhaps because what I’ve learned from my meditation teacher Paul Muller-Ortega. Paul teaches that what we experience outside as ‘worldiness’ or ignorance, blindness, contraction, forgetfullness, and conflict can be ‘cured’ by absorbing into the flow of Consciousness itself, where there is no difference or conflict. In meditation, we expand into the flow of it all melding together. I know that’s where we all connect, no matter what style of yoga is practiced.  What we’re in right now is worldiness, and we live in the world filled with contradictions of all kinds. Some cannot be reconciled, and I’ve also learned that they’re not supposed to all reconcile. Difference is another form of expansion.

In meditation, we invite all things into the fire pit of what he calls Great Consciousness and it works as a cesspool and recycling center, transforming everything into the one thing that is the common thread – Love.

Yet, emotionally, I’m uncomfortable.

I find all of my teachers, students, and beings in the fire pit of my heart and bow to their Grace. With remembrance of where we all connect, I bow.

Swaha.