I could be wrong

Last weekend of Teacher Training, I gave a contemplation/writing assignment to the trainees on their thoughts regarding levels of practice and studentship which are typically labeled beginner, intermediate and advanced. I asked that they come from their own perspective, rather than anything I taught or they’ve heard elsewhere. I received feedback from the group that it was a good exercise, and I got some great perspectives in their answers.

We’re taught in yoga that Beginners Mind is the key to advancing practice, as a student or a teacher. This theory can be brought into the larger expanse of life too because it’s just good medicine. I understand Beginners Mind as allowing a portion of your mind to remain open enough to be sure of nothing, even as you’re doing something familiar or fluent. One phrase I’m fond of saying when giving an opinion about something is “I could be wrong”. I don’t say it out of diminishing myself, or not knowing what I’m talking about. I’m clear its just my opinion and I say it from Beginners Mind. Generally, there is space in my mind and experience to be wrong, and I’m okay with that.

Often the beginner practitioner of yoga receives generalized description. In their attitude, it may be: open, fresh eyed, eager to learn, willing, present. Physically, we may describe them as: generally stiff, tight hamstrings, unable to transition quickly, or flexible with undeveloped muscle tone. To describe their mind set, we might say: open minded, unbiased, ready to learn.

But one trainee’s answer about being a beginner to yoga had a whole other perspective to it that I just loved. It was raw and honest and exposed the other side of being a beginner that is crucial to advancing practice. She likened being a beginner to feeling like a teenager: defensive, insecure, feeling out of place in the midst of something everyone else knows a secret code to and you don’t. To quote, “you’re getting a bunch of corrections, feel like you’re faking it, no ones explaining what the fuck is going on in the room in the bigger picture. There’s chanting and laying down at the end and you just end class hoping no one saw you.”

I say YES to giving voice to the truth! Those fears are so real, and its an irony that its believed that being a beginner means being fearless. I say, hogwash.

Experienced or advanced students of yoga tend to loose the humility of being a beginner somewhere along the line – or soon from the beginning – when the proverbial dots begin to connect, physical ability begins to open, and small successes and advancements happen. All the promises of a steady yoga practice begins to show up, and inside this budding confidence, the remembrance of what it was like to be a beginner vanishes. It reminds me of being in my 30’s.

Intermediate level practitioners and students of yoga can tend to be a fun and lively bunch. As awarenesses and connections are made in the body mind, the greatest awakening probably for the intermediate yogi is the link between the practice and other areas of their life becoming clearer to them, and they may experience an increased interest in learning more about this link. The energy and emotional body is starting to strengthen from the practices too, so the fears from earlier experience can begin to diminish, being replaced by physical strength, knowledge and conviction from experience. From the teachers perspective, the intermediate student is very regular, and if I dare say, they’re even good for your business, because you see them in class a lot. They ask questions, perhaps join you in workshops, retreats, and express interest in advancing their practice and learning, maybe even consider teacher training. They ask about what books to read. From the students perspective, being intermediate is also really exciting. The discoveries and curiosities are now embedded in friendships and community, and its just lovely. Could we call it a honeymoon phase of practice?

The advanced practitioner is hard to define in just one way. First I want to acknowledge that there is a surface belief out there in yoga-land that the advanced practitioner can do all the poses, practices #yogaeverydamnday, never misses a 2x a day meditation sit, absolutely 100% remains unfettered by daily life challenges, and entirely has it together, however anyone defines that. Life is just simply perfect. Relationships are smooth and happy. Financial troubles vanish and money is plenty. They have simply done something you haven’t yet, and they’ve found the honeypot from it. It’s so deceiving to believe that the advanced practitioner of yoga has no more suffering and that life has reached a perfect harmony in all of its aspects.

I think one thing that distinguishes the advanced practitioners is the ability of discernment. In physical practice its the discernment of what they need in order to sustain, stabilize, or to deepen a pose. They can also navigate their emotional needs whether practicing in a class under another teacher, or alone in home practice. The beginner student can’t necessarily do that easily because they have nothing to compare their experience to. Beginners are there to be taught, to be told what to do because they don’t know what to do. It takes time to learn physical and even inner boundaries. Advanced practitioners have likely learned them.

I’ve know three practitioner/teachers in my yoga life who can perform pretty much all the poses, but that’s not what makes them advanced practitioners to me. What it took (or takes, now that we’re all getting older) for them to be able to do all the poses is what makes them advanced practitioners. How did they have to transform, change and deal with their fears and doubts along the way to be able to do the poses? Maybe they also have some born-with-it abilities in their physicality that made their efforts move at a quicker rate. Even with that, I’m interested and invested in the work that needed to go into having frank, face-to-face chats with your psyche and body to be able to practice deep asana. You gotta deal with your limits, doubts, resistance, fear, and time.

So in some way, my trainee was right. Beginners can often seem aligned to being a teenager. Intermediate and Advanced practice is about growing up.

Another marker to me of an advanced practitioner is a visible attitude that the journey of practice is more important than seeking results. As I near 50 I am loving the discovery of how practicing asana in a dedicated, committed, refined way, with developed attunement to the subtle changes on the inside brings me great joy. As much joy as doing the flashy poses and transitions. I deeply love practicing all of that still – I teach Advanced Practice once a week so that I can – but I so thoroughly enjoy the deep warm up to get there. My body is changing, my awareness is deepening. I’m feeling it. I have to pay attention with almost a newborn’s awareness, a beginners awareness, to practice yoga in the most honest way with myself.

And, I could be wrong about all of this 🙂