Full Circle

There are definitely some times in life when you feel like, even just for short brief periods, that things are truly going your way. Call it riding the winds of Grace, being in the flow, having Lady Lakshmi in your corner, or whatever. What you seek comes to you easy. You feel like a manifestor, and like every bit of yoga-speak: set-your-intention-thoughts-become-things-OTG-etc etc is speaking some truth. And yes! You feel it! It happens!

I affirm that experience, ten fold. It does happen, and sometimes it does feel supremely easy, filled with just enough effort to make it so. It’s true, but more than just wishing it so. You really do need to apply effort, and I finally see that I become the great creator of my life when I do so. It takes work though!

You almost have to think of yourself as an engineer, a creator, a designer. What I learned to design though wasn’t just my intentions and wishes for a good life, but designing the way my mind and self receive information. I design experiences based on how I perceive them. The result comes purely from my own mind and its process. If my mind is soiled and stained (yes, I used those words) by old, tired, worn out (yet well used and practiced) ways of seeing myself in the world, than that soiled mind is going to take whatever comes into it and throw shit all over it. That’s a type of design. By design, you can wreck things, ruin even the most beautiful, thoughtful, meaningful, and highly intended for good, things/people/words/actions that come into your realm. Yup, as a designer, you can do that too.

As a designer, I created some really beautiful messes out of this soiled mind, and things definitely didn’t feel like they were going my way.  Yet they were! They were going exactly as my soiled mind was creating! I’m sure I’m not alone in this experience.

I’ve been on and off in therapy for 20+ years, and deeply embedded in a very uplifting and empowering yoga philosophy system for 10. I’ve learned a lot. What I love about yoga though is that it can speed things up. My process has begun to move much quicker since I’ve become more awakened to my power and skill as a designer. Meditation has helped tremendously with this, I slow down, and my mind clears and cleans out whatever is that nagging old festering untruth about my being. I consider myself a baby-meditator, maybe toddler age, but the results have been very palpable to my experience. I feels like I’m processing the world as it really is these days, not through such a soiled lens.

That’s where I come full circle. When my mind clears through practice, I feel Lady Lakshmi in my corner, as she’s always been, breathing down my neck all the time, breathing as the winds of Grace. My reactions are totally different than they were a short time ago, so the design-your-life-wish-list is now possible. Opportunities have opened or re-opened that not too long ago, I never thought would. 3 years is a long time, but 3 years is also not a very long time at all when it comes to making real lasting and sustaining shifts in your being. 3 years is kinda a quick recovery and transformation. 3 years, just about to the day of being asked to depart Virayoga, I was asked to return.  That was also by design. I start May 2nd, Advanced Practice 9:30-11:30. 🙂